


Rollercoaster

by nighting_gale17



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homelessness, Light Angst, Oops, sorry bout this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 11:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19197472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighting_gale17/pseuds/nighting_gale17
Summary: Buck is homeless.Family will always be there for him.





	Rollercoaster

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this isn't my best work, but we were talking in the discord about what if Buck was homeless when he joined the 118 and this came out of that. I wrote this really fast, it's more of me vomiting my words than anything but, still, I guess I hope you guys enjoy it?
> 
> I'm also half asleep and we were fighting over popsicles so there's that.
> 
> Might delete later idk

“Come on, Bobby,” Buck pleaded, walking backwards in pace with Bobby as the older man walked in the station house. “I know you need the help with that shift since Tommy called off, man, just let me work.”

“No, Buck, and that’s final.” Bobby blew out an aggravated breath, stopping in his tracks and eyeing Buck critically. “You’ll be working a thirty six hour shift before that one and if you took it, that would be close to seventy two hours straight. No, not happening, out of the question.”

Buck clenched his jaw, searing for an argument in his head. He knew Bobby was right, he was already exhausted now anyway, he’d barely be standing on his feet if he took that shift but—he needed the money. And it was a night shift, which meant he wouldn’t have to find a place to sleep for the night. “Bobby—”

“No, Buck.” Bobby cut him off before he could even start talking. “I’m not changing my mind about this.” he was silent for a moment, his expression of annoyance turning into one of slight concern and his tone softened. “Why do you need this so much?”

“Whatever,” Buck scoffed lowly, turning on his heel away from the conversation with his hand shoved in his back pockets. He wasn’t about to have that conversation with anyone, least of all Bobby. He knew what he was doing. He knew the sacrifices he was making and he didn’t regret a single one.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Buck grabbed his duffle bag from where he’d left it laying on the couch. He gave the kitchen a second glance, hesitating when his eyes lingered on the fridge. It’d been a while since the last time he’d had something to eat—their lunch had been interrupted and they never got around to eating it with the back to back calls they had—and breakfast early this morning seemed like years ago to his cramping stomach.

His paycheck had just come in, though, and he needed to transfer it to Maddie’s account but maybe he could keep a little to get a nice meal—

Buck gritted his teeth and forcedly shoved the thought from his mind, berating himself for even letting it worm into his head. Flashes of bruises and scars and hospitals visits flashed through Buck’s head and he sighed, reluctantly heading towards the fridge. Maddie needed that money a lot more than he did. He'd be fine, he thought as he grabbed one of the pre-made sandwiches from the fridge.This would hold him over until his next shift in sixteen hours, it was selfish to even think about keeping it for himself when Maddie was literally fighting to survive locked up on that house.

His hunger wasn’t a big deal. He'd be fine, especially with this sandwich.

Closing the fridge door with his foot, Buck was about to take a huge bite of the sandwich when he heard Chimney’s voice behind him, “Yo, man, you’re eating again? Better watch it there, pal, might find yourself with a little extra padding.” he teased as he walked past Buck, patting him on the stomach as he headed towards the lounge.

Any hunger he did have vanished with that comment, and Chimney was teasing, Buck knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but… he glanced self-consciously down at his stomach and grimaced, slowly lowering the sandwich back onto the counter. His eating habits hadn’t been the greatest since he started funneling all of his money towards Maddie, not that they were ever great to begin with, but they were at least kind of healthy. Now, the only food that he got that wasn’t fast food was the food he got when Bobby cooked. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who saw the difference that was putting on his body.

Hiking his duffle on his shoulder, But quickly ducked out of the station house, leaving the sandwich abandoned on the table behind him.

If he hurried, maybe he could grab a spot at the shelter downtown before it filled up.

xxx

He didn’t get to the shelter in time.

His night was instead spent aimlessly driving around all night until the library opened and he was able to hide out there. He spent the time like he usually did, deciding to brush up on some of his literature this time around while he waited for the time to pass for his next shift.

His hunger was easy to ignore after so long getting used to it, satisfying himself with the thought that Bobby will probably have a nice, warm meal ready for them when their shift started in a couple of hours.

He was right.

Buck sneaked into the showers before he clocked in to work, quickly slathering product through his hair to keep it slicked down before he, quite literally, bounced up the stairs where the meal and the rest of the team were waiting. It wasn’t quite anything special tonight, just some lasagna and a couple of side dishes but it was heaven to Buck, and he told Bobby as much.

“Man, I wish I could cook meals like this every day.” he said, with maybe just a touch of wistfulness to his tone.

“Not everyone can be a chef quite like Cap.” Hen agreed, misinterpreting his statement, but there was no way in hell Buck was about to correct her.

Yeah. He was totally talking about Bobby’s cooking skills, not just about having a kitchen to cook in. Because that would be suspicious. And suspicion meant people maybe started asking the wrong kind of right questions and Buck couldn't have them doing that right, not when he was so close to having enough to convince Maddie she would be safe and removed enough to get out of there.

“Is everything alright, Buck?” Bobby asked later, after they were done eating and the two of them were washing the dishes while the others fought over control of the television.

Buck tried not to tense at the innocent question, but based on the sharp look in Bobby’s eyes he’s not sure he succeeded. “Yeah,” he said, casually as he could. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You seem a little more tired than usual.” Bobby murmured, concern lacing his voice. “You keep asking about getting more shifts and don't think I haven't seen you sneaking into the showers before your shift starts.” he sighed, and Buck saw him put his plate down on the rack and turn towards him. “What’s going on, Buck? I’m worried about you.”

_He could help_ , a small voice said in the back of his head. All of them would help. _They would give you a bed to crash on. They’re family._

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Buck’s never had good experience with family. He couldn’t see any situation where talking about this with his Captain would solve any of his problems. He still wouldn’t let him take more shifts and it’s not like he could just impose on him and Athena or anything, especially now that they were living together.

“I’m fine.” Buck said, smiling stiffly up at Bobby before resuming his furious scrubbing of the plate in the sink. “Everything’s fine.”

It’s not like he was completely exhausted all the time. Couldn’t remember the last time he had a decent sleep or a decent place to sleep. Had a hard time remembering what it felt like to be comfortably full—he was always either starving or stuffing himself because he didn’t know when his next meal was going to be. It’s not like his older sister was on the other side of the country, getting the shit beat out of her every night and making weekly trips to the hospital and there wasn't a single damned thing he could do about it—

A loud ‘crack’ broke him from his thoughts and he stared blankly at the sink in front of him. The plate he had been holding had shattered. Had he done that?

“Shit, Buck,” Bobby cursed, quickly but gently reaching down and grabbing his hands and lifting them out of the pink water. “Don’t move.”

Bobby rushed off somewhere, but Buck wasn’t paying close attention. All he could focus on was the slow pattern the blood was making from the cuts on his hands down his wrists. It was captivating. Like watching a snake slither silently across the ground or watching a shark silently swim through the ocean. He’s seen a lot of those. Shark Week. Maddie used to love watching Shark Week with him. He was pretty sure she only watched it because of him, and he always loved those weeks, but then they didn't have them anymore because she was gone across the country and she left him and now she was _dying_ —

He blinked as a soft white cloth wrapped around his hands, pulling him from where he had zoned out too. Bobby stood in front of him, his face lined with concentration as he gently tied up Buck’s hands in the white cloth and then wiped the blood off os his forearms.

“Sorry.” Buck muttered, suddenly remembering that this happened because he must have broken the plate. “I’ll pay for a new one.”

“Don’t.” Bobby shook his head, leading Buck over to the barstool at the counter and forcing him to sit down, his brown eyes worried. “You can apologize by telling me what’s up with you.”

Buck hesitated, pressing his lips together in a tight line. He still wasn’t sure this was a good idea. “I’m just… stressed.” he said lamely, staring down at his hands fidgeting together in his lap.

“Stressed.” Bobby repeated, a little disbelievingly. “Come on, Buck. Listen, I’m your Captain, but,” he squeezed Buck’s wrist gently for emphasis, getting Buck to reluctantly look up into his gentle eyes. “You’re family. Let me help you.”

“I have a sister.” Buck began slowly, biting the inside of his cheek. “She’s on the other side of the country, stuck with an abusive asshole of a husband. I’ve been sending her almost all of my paycheck money to a separate bank account under her name.” he’s rambling now, but he can't stop. “I-I don’t have a choice, Bobby, I can’t just do nothing! He’s got such an iron grip on their finances she doesn’t have any of her own money to her name, all of it is under his, I’m the only chance she’s got to get out so I-I have to send her everything I have.”

Tears burned in his eyes, drinking down his cheeks as he felt himself begin to unravel. “I’ve almost got her enough money to get out of there, I just need a couple more paychecks and she’ll be able to leave but—I’m just so tired, Bobby.” Buck’s voice cracked slightly on his name, dropping his head into his hands. “She deserves so much more but I just don’t have enough. I’ve been trying to cut back where I can, but—”

“All you have to do is say something, Buck,” Bobby murmured comfortingly. “We can help you. you don’t have to work yourself down to the bone for this.”

Buck disagreed, after everything Maddie put herself through at their house before she ran away with Doug, she deserved so much more than he was able to give her. God, he couldn’t even pull his shit together enough to pay back even quarter of what he owes her. She raised him when his parents wanted to throw him out on the street. How does someone repay that?

“Come on,” Bobby said after a minute, wrapping an arm around Buck’s waist to get him on his feet. “Let’s get you back home, get some rest—some _real_ rest— and then we can help you figure out how to help your sister.”

“Home?” Buck asked, confused as he stopped in his tracks and looked at Bobby. What home? He had no home, no place to live. And besides, he couldn’t just leave, he was in the middle of a shift!

“Yeah, back to your apartment, or are you still staying in Abby’s old place?” Bobby questioned, looking all for the world like he was about to get in his car and drive Buck back to a place that didn't exist.

“Bobby I—” Please don't make him say it. “I told you, all of my paychecks are going towards my sister. I have to help her.”

He could see the moment everything connected in Bobby’s head and he had to look away so he wouldn’t see the pity and several other emotions in those eyes that he didn't deserve. He couldn’t even take care of his sister. He doesn’t deserve any go the things Bobby is looking at him with right now.

“I’m fine.” Buck said quietly, wincing slightly as he clasped his ands together tightly. “Really. I’ve been in worse situations, it’s not the end of the world.”

“I think…” Bobby said slowly, softly, like he was talking to a cornered animal. “You should come home with me, have a bed to sleep on, and we can talk to Athena about helping your sister.”

“Why?” Buck muttered, chancing a glance up. “It’s not going to change anything. The police can’t help her.”

“Maybe not,” Bobby allowed, placing his hands on Buck’s shoulder’s and staring at him intently. “But we can help you. Right now, you need to be your priority. You won’t be able to help your sister if you collapse from exhaustion before then.”

Buck wanted to argue. But he knew that look in Bobby’s eyes. He’s seen it in work, and it’s been used on him more times than he can even begin to count. He knew there was no getting out of this and… he wasn’t really sure he wanted to. Of course, it was humiliating that someone knew he was homeless, his cheeks burned at the very thought. But this was Bobby.

Family, right?

“Okay,” Buck relented, ignoring the way Bobby’s relieved smile made his chest warm up. The thought of a bed and food was too nice to pass up, and he was exhausted. “Thank you.”

“Anything for family, Buck,” Bobby said, throwing an arm over his shoulders and guiding him out of the station. “Anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this isn't my best work, but we were talking in the discord about what if Buck was homeless when he joined the 118 and this came out of that. I wrote this really fast, it's more of me vomiting my words than anything but, still, I guess I hope you guys enjoy it?
> 
> Might delete later idk


End file.
